Understanding and Healing Avoidant Attachment in Therapy

Written By Dr. Sheila Vidal

Do you find it difficult to let others in, even when you want to feel close?
You may be experiencing patterns related to avoidant attachment in adulthood—a protective style rooted in early relationships that can make emotional intimacy feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

At Next Mission Recovery, I provide online trauma therapy for adults in Virginia, including support for attachment wounds, complex trauma, and relational healing. This post explores how avoidant attachment develops, how it affects adult relationships, and how trauma-informed therapy can help rebuild emotional trust, safety, and connection.

Person gazing out of a car window in quiet reflection, symbolizing avoidant attachment and emotional distance.

Photo by Abigail via Unsplash

What Is Avoidant Attachment?

Avoidant attachment is one of four primary attachment styles—along with Secure, Anxious, and Disorganized—originally identified through the foundational work of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth (Bretherton, 1992). Attachment Theory highlights how early relationships with caregivers shape an individual’s capacity for emotional regulation, interpersonal trust, and relational security. When those early relationships are inconsistent, neglectful, unpredictable, or frightening, they can become a source of developmental trauma—even in the absence of a single identifiable “traumatic event.”

When caregiving is emotionally unavailable, dismissive, or overwhelming, the developing child may adapt by suppressing emotional needs, limiting vulnerability, and prioritizing autonomy. Over time, these protective strategies may evolve into an avoidant attachment style, in which emotional closeness is experienced as unsafe or intrusive. As a result, the child learns to minimize emotional expression and rely on independence as a means of maintaining safety.

In adulthood, individuals with avoidant attachment may:

  • Withdraw from conflict or emotionally intense conversations

  • Devalue closeness and rely heavily on self-sufficiency

  • Struggle to identify or express emotional needs

  • Fear becoming “dependent” or vulnerable in relationships

Exposure to traumatic stress—particularly chronic, relational, or developmental trauma—can further reinforce these avoidant defenses, intensifying emotional detachment, hyper-independence, and difficulty seeking support, even in the face of distress. Although these patterns may be adaptive in early caregiving environments, they often persist into adulthood, contributing to challenges with emotional intimacy, interpersonal trust, and maintaining stable relationships.

How Therapy Supports Healing

Therapy creates a secure, consistent space where clients can begin to explore the roots of emotional distancing.

Through evidence-based approaches such as Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT) and Attachment-based therapy, clients learn how to:

  • Identify and understand their attachment style

  • Recognize defenses that block connection

  • Develop emotional awareness and expression

  • Build safe, reciprocal relationships that allow for closeness without fear

A Trauma-Informed Approach

At Next Mission Recovery, therapy is tailored to your emotional readiness and life experiences.

We explore not just the attachment patterns themselves, but the underlying trauma or early relational wounds that shaped them. Together, we work to replace emotional avoidance with connection, authenticity, and choice.

Why Online Therapy Works

Many clients with avoidant attachment find online trauma therapy to be a comfortable entry point to treatment.

Virtual sessions provide a private, structured space that supports autonomy while fostering emotional insight and connection.

Start Healing Avoidant Attachment with Online Therapy in Virginia

If you're ready to understand your attachment style and move toward more fulfilling relationships, I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.

At Next Mission Recovery, I help adults across Virginia explore the intersection of attachment, trauma, and healing, using trauma-informed, compassionate care.

Learn more about therapy services or explore additional insights on the Next Mission Recovery blog.

Further Reading

  • Bretherton, I. (1992). The origins of attachment theory: John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. Developmental Psychology, 28(5), 759–775. DOI Link

  • Levine, A., & Heller, R. (2010). Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment. Penguin Publishing.

  • Johnson, S. M. (2019). Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Individuals, Couples, and Families. Guilford Press.

Dr. Sheila Vidal

I’m Dr. Sheila Vidal, a licensed clinical psychologist in the State of Virginia and a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. I provide trauma-informed online therapy for adults across Virginia, offering evidence-based care to help individuals navigate the lasting effects of traumatic stress, PTSD, and complex emotional challenges. Although I currently reside in Northern California, I offer virtual psychological services exclusively to residents of Virginia.

I earned my Master of Arts degree in Diplomacy and Military Studies from Hawaii Pacific University, where I was honored with the "Best Graduate Paper" award for my thesis on interwar revolution in Vietnam from 1954 to 1959. Driven by a passion for understanding human behavior and resilience, I went on to earn a Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology in Washington, DC.

During my time in Washington, DC, I completed clinical training at the DC Superior Court, providing psychological assessments to at-risk youth, including Spanish-speaking unaccompanied minors. I completed my postdoctoral training at the Kennedy Krieger Institute/Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, where I focused on behavioral psychology and supported children and families navigating complex trauma and behavioral health challenges.

As a clinical psychologist with the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, I gained extensive experience providing evidence-based trauma treatment to Military Veterans, Reservists, First Responders, Law Enforcement Personnel, and their Caregivers. My clinical work encompassed a wide range of mental health concerns, including those related to PTSD, Moral Injury, and Military Sexual Trauma (MST).

My extensive academic training, international teaching background, and fieldwork abroad have strengthened my cultural competence in working with diverse and historically marginalized populations impacted by trauma. I specialize in treating PTSD, trauma-related conditions, and the complex intersection of mood and personality disorders that often emerge following prolonged or early-life traumatic experiences.

At Next Mission Recovery, I am committed to providing culturally responsive, trauma-informed online therapy that fosters resilience, promotes healing, and supports sustainable growth. Through a compassionate, evidence-based approach, I strive to create a therapeutic space where clients feel respected, validated, and empowered to move toward meaningful recovery.

https://www.nextmissionrecovery.com/about
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